How Do You Help Without Impacting Your Mom’s Pride and Independence?

Whether her doctor said it’s time or you have noticed your mom letting personal care slide, it’s time. You can’t ignore that realize she needs help with grooming, bathing, and hygiene. How do you help without making your mom feel less independent or hurting her pride?

Arrange a Family and Friends Meeting

Get the entire family and any of your mom’s close friends to sit down and talk about home care. Don’t push or make judgments. Simply discuss the pros and cons. You might point out that your mom would have companionship. She might worry about the cost. She might think that having family caregivers would take away her independence.

With each con, make sure you discuss how it could still be beneficial if you did things in a certain way. For example, if she’s worried about the cost, you could point out that there might be a way to cut her cable bill down. If you did that, the savings could cover the cost.

Take Small Steps

Small steps can be easier to handle. Instead of talking to your mom about arranging daily care, see if she’d agree to try a half-day each week for a month or two. She may not love the idea, but the smaller amount of time might be more manageable to her.

As she gets used to having you or another caregiver around, she may be like many older adults and realize she likes having someone to talk to and help out. At that point, address whether she’d be willing to add one or two additional half-days per week.

Listen to Her

When you’re the one helping her, listen to her. If she tells you no, move on. There may come times that you cannot accept the no, such as with medications that must be taken at a specific time of day. You should still ask her why she’s refusing. It could be the medications make her feel woozy.

If she has a reason for the refusal, ask her to do it this time but agree to call her doctor. If she doesn’t like the side effects, there may be another medication that works and has fewer side effects. Follow through and make that call.

Let Her Take the Lead

Let your mom help you or even lead the research. If she feels like she’s the one doing the research, asking the questions, and leading interviews, it becomes her idea. If letting her think it’s her idea is what it takes to arrange home care, it’s a win.

Have you asked your mom what she prefers? She may not want you being her caregiver. She might prefer to have someone who is trained and experienced in senior care. Don’t take it personally.

Home care aides may simply make her feel less of a burden on you. Spend quality time with your mom going on outings or enjoying hobbies together and hire home care services for the rest.

For home care in Bloomfield, NJ, call ComForCare Home Care at 973-287-4718. Serving Caldwell, Clifton, Montclair, Bloomfield, Nutley, Verona, Little Falls, Cedar Grove, Totowa, Essex Fells, Roseland, Glen Ridge, West Paterson, Fairfield, Passaic, Belleville.

About Zack Demopoulos

Zack and Phyllis Demopoulos are the Owners of ComForcare Senior Services of Fairfield, NJ.

Whether it’s in business or in life, finding the right partner is vital to the success of any union.Fortunately, Zack and Phyllis Demopoulos have found the perfect counterparts in each other.After 21 years of marriage, the couple decided to join forces in a new way with ComForcare.Zack had over two decades in healthcare at Warner-Lambert and Pfizer, and Phyllis was a stay-at-home mom of three and former Estée Lauder trainer.Their strong family values and personal experience with helping relatives who required continuous assistance led them to a business
centered on providing top-notch care to those needing it most. ComForcare is committed to providing caregiving, resources and education to families in Northern Essex and Southern Passaic counties.
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